How To Avoid Being A Victim of Anger?

Anger destroys.  Once in a while, if a person has lots of self-control, they can focus the energy of anger on finding solutions to a problem.  Few do.

Abuse in the home, abusive bosses, violence in teens, depression in families, domestic violence is all caused by a lack of anger management.  Don’t be a victim!  It’s easier than you think.

First, we must learn to handle our own emotions.  While we can’t control how others in our life behaves, we can control how we react to their behavior.  Our reaction can help shape their reaction. 

Begin to work on your own control, by changing your thoughts.  Self talk is the answer, but we must create the habit.  When someone has hurt your feelings, or “made you mad” begin to speak to yourself about your choices.  Say something like:

• I don’t have to get mad.
• I will try to understand they are mad.
• I will breathe deeply, and walk away.
• I will think first.
• I will pause and come back to this later.
• I will forgive this person.
• I will find a solution.
• I will control me emotions.
• I will ask for time to cool off.
• I will speak softly.
• I will ask for help from others.
• I can let the person who is mad own this problem.

Next, think of ways you can distract yourself from anger.  Do something physical and do it regularly.

Ask the person who is out of control to calm down and talk about the problem when they feel better. Demonstrate what you want from others.  Creating a happy disposition and outlook on life is a habit worth creating. 

During other time spent with the person who lacks anger management, make sure you take advantage of moments to verbalize positive things about the person who is mad.  Building the self esteem of someone who gets angry frequently can help them feel valued.  Keep in mind that you can influence their emotions, but you can’t control them.

As you voice positive comments and praise for those you love or work with, you’ll be amazed how contagious that one behavior becomes.  Abusive bosses evaporate or go into meltdown, because they just don’t know how to respond to positive outlooks and attitudes.  Most people who have anger management control problems think it is the only way to control others and get their goals met.

Never stay in a situation that is personally dangerous to you, and work on getting away from those situations that are emotionally dangerous.

Never let the person who you feel in danger from, know that you are planning your exit. 

Always consult a professional if you believe yourself to be in danger, or if you have thoughts about endangering others.

Work on your anger today, and live a happier life!

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